By Ashley Ronnell
It was June 2017, just before Fathers Day. I had just won a pair of airline tickets in a silent auction, and Tiffany and I waffled between a trip to Hawaii for the two of us, or a trip to Scotland. We had talked for years about taking Tiffany’s dad Clarke on his dream trip to Scotland. Maybe we’d give him a trip for Father’s Day.
He’s one of those dads who constantly sacrifices his own dreams and comfort for the sake of his family. Kids, grandkids, in-laws, family friends, it doesn’t matter. If there’s trouble, Clarke is there to help. Every. Single. Time.
Good Dads are Hard to Find
In fall 2010, shortly after Tiffany and I met, I was having car trouble. It was late, probably close to midnight. Tiffany called her dad and he drove across the city to help me, a random person he had never met. I know Clarke answers phone calls like this often, and that he will do anything and make any sacrifice to be there for his family.
Since we first met on that brisk fall night, Clarke has been there every single time I have needed him. He has shown me how to break into my own car, how to fix a flat tire, the art of cooking with cast iron, and, most importantly, how to be there for the ones you love no matter what.
Growing up, Fathers Day was always a bit of a sore spot for me. I was that kid who had to make a card for a grandfather or uncle (who are wonderful men, but didn’t live nearby). Now, in my 30s, I see what all the fuss is about. Good dads are totally awesome and worth celebrating.
It’s so easy to put someone else’s dream trip off until later. I’m so glad we didn’t. Scotland is beautiful, and being there with Clarke was the best way to experience the place.
Fast Forward
Less than one year after that Fathers Day in 2017, our life turned into daily visits to the Rockyview General Hospital. Clarke has stage 4 lung cancer. It’s metastatic and all kinds of awful.
Fucking cancer, man. The great equalizer, always out there reminding us that, no matter how healthy we think we are, there will always be surprises. There are no guarantees, and life is usually shorter than we expect.
There are drugs available for Clarke’s type of cancer that seem to be helping. He’s out of the hospital, has an oxygen tank, and seems to have settled into a new kind of normal.
The window we had to travel through Scotland together was so much narrower than we knew. As we hummed and hawed about whether or not to take the trip, time quietly passed by, and the dream trip nearly became an impossibility.
We got lucky. The god that is time did us a favor for which I will forever be grateful. Scotland was a gift, a blessing, a beautiful fate.
Don’t put it off. Don’t wait for the perfect time. If there is something in your life that is important to you, there’s a decent chance that you will regret it forever if you don’t make it happen. Freaking go for it! Do something every day that will take you closer to whatever the dream is, and ditch the distractions that make those dreams seem impossible.
Don’t wait. Do not wait.
